Spaghettios With Sliced Us

I'm 9 months old, and I'm as big as my sister. So there, expectations.

2010-02-06T21:37:00.001-05:00

No, they aren't related. At all.

And I understand the walls have ears.

2010-01-21T20:33:00.003-05:00

Do you see it?

It doesn't really matter, because it sees you.

I don't know how to describe what it's like living with a 3 year old for the first time. I guess it's sort of like having Generalissimo Franco move into the pink bedroom upstairs, if Franco was a stoner that never paid attention to a word you said, and demanded a steady diet of Pirates Booty and Servatiis cookies. Yes. I'd say it's exactly like that.

I do, however, love the weird things I find around our house on a regular basis. One of Scarlett's duplo sets came with a sheet of eye stickers, so you could create a more 'realistic' duplo duck. Or horse. Or cow. You get the picture. But anyway, there are all these random eyes floating all over our house, and periodically I find something looking at me that wouldn't normally have that ability.

Cree--eeepy...

The worst [and most honest] holiday update letter ever.

2010-01-18T18:03:00.005-05:00

What, you mean you wanted more than that? Oh, for crying out loud... the work I do for you people.

OK, so when we left off back in October, Scarlett had been sick for a month. In November, December, and then January, it was Kevin's turn, Van's turn, and then my turn. Kevin took 3 rounds of antibiotics and finally kicked his sinus infection; despite getting the H1N1 vaccine I got something that walked like a pig and oinked like a pig; and Van will be getting tubes in his ears in exactly one week. And then I've had it with being the Mt. Lookout infirmary.

In other news, Van has two teeth, and can sort of crawl, although his balance might be affected by the near constant ear infections. Scarlett rules Pre-school with an iron fist, and refuses to use the potty. Kevin got a new Blackberry, after losing the first new Blackberry. [My money is on a McDonalds someplace in Pennsylvania.] And I found a new inexpensive and tasty chardonnay I can buy in bulk.

Happy New Year's!

This is a blog. A what? A blog. A what? A blog. Oh! A blog!

2010-01-18T17:39:00.006-05:00

Here's some stuff that happened in November.

And here's some stuff that happened in December.

Are we all caught up now? Good.

Happy Halloween. With added cursing!

2009-11-03T19:26:00.003-05:00

The cold and flu season has descended upon our house with the intensity of a thousand plagues. Haha. It's November 3rd. Shit.

Anyway, Scarlett was sick for her birthday, and it looked like she was going to be sick again for Halloween. She rallied somewhat, and we decided that Kevin could take her out on our street for a little trick-or-treating fun. I think they were gone 4 hours, and came home with a wagon full of goodies. [Oh, and a special shout out to whoever gave out the sugar free gummi candies with *added Vitamin C* - you suck. Seriously. Next year locate the rolo aisle.]

Later that night [much later, like 2am] I woke up to Scarlett crying in her bed. I went to check on her, and she was sobbing and trying to tell me something. I finally realized what she was saying was "I...want..my...pumpkin..." Nice try, kiddo.

Restraint.

2009-10-20T09:13:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet girl.

Are you sure?

2009-10-17T12:37:00.001-05:00

Pretend for just one moment that Scarlett isn't the funniest thing in this video. Van is eating food for the first time, and dude, he GETS it. A natural. He wants to know what we've been waiting for, and by the way, when can he have some ribs?

Farm Day

2009-10-11T09:04:00.005-05:00

Scarlett is growing up so fast that I can hardly bare to blink. The other day her teacher told me that she was "very independent", which I'm pretty sure is pre-school code for "pain in the ass", but it was something that she didn't need to tell me. We hear "I want to do it myself" all day long. Thank goodness there are still things she needs help with - like screening her own tee shirt, and hitching the occasional ride with her father.

Three is barreling down at us - I'm not going to go all melancholy on you, but I sure am glad we have the other one - the one that still wants to nap on mom. And nowhere else.

Many, many thanks to Tom and Wendy for opening their home to us and all the other vagrants that love to experience life on a farm for one beautiful fall day each year. We had a wonderful time, and we even got to stay past sundown. Cheers!

I'd like to publicly thank This Guy.

2009-10-11T08:55:00.002-05:00

My natural grace got me into a little trouble last night. Not two minutes after I helped myself to a glass of wine, I managed to knock it over. Refilling would involve walking up to a table of [lovely, I'm sure] strangers, reach into their conversation area and grab a bottle that I had JUST GRABBED. So instead, I made Paul do it.

Thanks, Paul. I appreciate you taking that bullet for me.

And I'd also like to thank Tom and Wendy for owning a kitchen table that is impervious to red wine. And for having 3 kids, which also made me feel less guilty about being the knob that spills red wine at a party. And most of all, for hosting a wonderful day in the country.

Ballet Princesses who Golf.

2009-09-25T14:24:00.003-05:00

Forgive the horrible lighting here, but I didn't want to take the time to adjust the lamps in case I missed Odette's death scene. Or Mickelson's putt on 18.

Ninety-seventh what now?

2009-09-15T19:12:00.002-05:00

4 months old. 18lbs 14oz. 26 inches long. Head, melon-esque. We're actually going to have to procure a larger infant seat when he outgrows the one that would still fit his sister, if she hadn't gone all "20th percentile in height" on us.

Yesterday's 4 month well check uncovered nothing more than a patch of eczema on his leg, and a record breaking case of cradle cap on his head. The former gets a dose of antibiotic ointment, the latter, absentminded picking while I'm watching the new season of The Biggest Loser.

There are no words.

2009-09-12T21:18:00.003-05:00

Except maybe "Sorry about the pink chair, but well, you know, big sister."

Wedging him in this required butter and a shoehorn, but I think the end result is quite spectacular.

Down on the Farm

2009-09-12T20:29:00.007-05:00

I have never in my life seen a baby of any species drain a bottle as fast as this baby goat. Not even my son, who has been known to suck his avent dry before you can say "Fat Baby".

By the way, this sweet baby's name is "Diamond". Which led to more than a few inappropriate stripper jokes, but honestly, if you name your goat Diamond, she's probably destined for the farmyard pole. And you will be sure she'll pay for her straw in singles. While she's putting herself through goat school.

I've just now taken a good look at the picture of Scarlett and her friend Barrett walking in the goat pen, and as soon as I'm done with this entry, I think I need to go find her sneakers and burn them. Because OHMYGOD do you see what they are walking in? How did I not notice that? Oh yes. Perhaps it was because one of the farmers put a chicken on their head and walked around. CHICKEN. ON HEAD.

*faint*

Oh, and *vomit*.

Montana comes to visit.

2009-08-19T20:28:00.002-05:00

I finally got my hands on Baby Maya. And Baby Maya got hers on Baby Van.

Alice did not get to see Alby this trip, and I think she's still a little miffed.

I love summer, except when the corn in the cob get stuck in your teeth.

2009-08-19T20:19:00.003-05:00

Also, summer naps rule.

Kevin thinks I should cut out the middle man, and just call this "Fat Baby".

2009-07-25T20:55:00.003-05:00

But God forgive us, we can't stop laughing at this picture. He really wants to smile, but the weight of those cheeks just hold the corners of his mouth down. But there is joy in his eyes. I see it.

Blurry proof that sometimes he's happy.

2009-07-21T09:18:00.001-05:00

No mirror needed.

2009-07-15T20:28:00.004-05:00

Van [He's the one with the car on his shirt. I know. I get confused sometimes too.] went for his 2 month well baby appointment. He's on target to outgrow his sister sometime next Tuesday. Probably around lunchtime.

White rice and cupcakes are not food groups.

2009-07-15T20:10:00.003-05:00

Edemame. Fresh cherries. Milk. A sourdough roll.

I would be so proud of this if she'd eaten anything besides the roll. Some days I think it's a miracle she poops at all.

Van's youtube debut.

2009-07-15T20:08:00.001-05:00

I was feeling all guilty about how Scarlett was the most photographed baby in the history of all babies, and how Van barely gets snapped [although in my defense, as the primary family photographer I've had to explain on numerous occasions that you will not have your picture taken much when you refuse to be put down] but I did finally get a little video of my son.

Out of curiousity, I went and looked to see when Scarlett made her youtube debut, and as it turns out, Van beat her by a cool 3 months.

So suck it, birth order. I rule.

Then the circus came to town.

2009-07-03T21:00:00.002-05:00

This is a good lookin' couple.
This couple, also good lookin', compared notes on wardrobe.

My dad's baby sister, and her great-nephew, that looks NOTHING like anyone in our family.

Left to right: Jake, Zoe [holding Van], Scarlett, and Charles Rex.

Amy's clan came to town at the end of June when school got out. They were very pleased to be here because the east coast has been hit with another ice age this summer, and the third week of June was upon us and there wasn't a single person in Connecticut who had donned a bathing suit. So they came to the Midwest where we start sweating around Memorial Day, and don't stop until Halloween. When it snows.

Scarlett is officially enchanted with her older cousins, and Jake declared Van to be the baby to beat all babies. Although ever the diplomat, he couched it slightly by saying things like "well, he's the best under 2 month old baby" and that Scarlett was the best two year old in the girl category, because he has the feelings of other cousins to consider.

Van tried to prove me wrong by being a very good and quiet baby around his aunt and uncle, which lasted until everyone got back on the plane, at which time he opened his mouth and let me have it.

Woefully behind.

2009-07-03T20:50:00.002-05:00

This is just one of those pictures that is fun to share. I have nothing to say about it, except perhaps, how cute is this gang?

The cute might kill me.

2009-06-13T20:59:00.002-05:00

Seriously. It might.

Van's hips are fine. He has also gained almost 3 and a half pounds, and has grown over 2 inches. I don't know how to dress a child that has no visible bones.

At his one month appointment, our pediatrician made the comment that he was very glad that we were finally talking about normal baby problems like colic. Now, I adore our pediatrician. At our very first appointment, when Scarlett was 5 days old, he quoted Frank Deford to me. FRANK DEFORD. And it wasn't even Wednesday!

But when he said he was glad to be talking about colic, it was all I could do to keep from offering to continue the conversation at 1am. Because I'd be up. Swaddling and shushing, and wondering if crate training would work as well as it did with Alice.

Oh, I jest. We wouldn't put Van in a crate. It's not soundproof.

2009-06-13T20:52:00.004-05:00

"Can I ask a question? When did I get to be 39?"

"The better question is when did I get to be old enough to be married to someone who is 39?"

Happy Birthday, hubby mine. Do you want me to make you some chocolate cupcakes? I owe you after you sat through 2 hours of Garrison Keillor.

Of course, the Stanley Cup finals were on this week, so we could probably call it even.

Although I might still make you cupcakes. I'm pretty sure we'd find a few takers in this house.

Update. Because I'm not really interested in watching "Password".

2009-05-31T19:15:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned, Van had an ultrasound on his hips to check for signs of Hip Dysplasia. We were going to go over the results with our orthopod this past Friday. However, a couple of days after the appointment, our pediatrician called us to let us know that radiology had sent the results to their office, and that everything looked normal. We decided to go ahead with the ortho appointment anyway, because we thought it would ease the last of our worries.

Alas, Scarlett thwarted that plan by waking up very sick on Friday. We had to cancel Van's appointment and schedule one for Scarlett, which revealed a very run of the mill ear infection. But let me tell you, when my kid is too sick to provide a running commentary on life, and just wants to lay on me and whimper, then she is really sick.

The upside is that I think that for the time, Van is in the clear. We'll reschedule and confirm, but I'm feeling optimistic.

I can't do anything about the fact that due to his appetite, he's rapidly developing rubber band wrists, but frankly, those are so delicious that I don't want to.

Captain Obvious.

2009-05-31T18:44:00.002-05:00

Here, she splashes.

Here she said to me "I wet." And looked concerned.

Here, he sighed and thought "I'm really tired of just being put places."

Day and Night.

2009-05-26T13:57:00.002-05:00

See here, kid. I know you are new in town, but this? This here is day. During the day, we like to nap, sure, but the lions share of our sleeping is done at night. Night - like when it's dark out? I see you looking around when I go in to replace the binky you've spit out, and I wonder what exactly you think you are watching. It's just you in a quiet dark room. My best advice as your mother would be to just go to sleep. For several hours. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

Blue.

2009-05-19T14:44:00.003-05:00

Turn ons: Eating. Sleeping. Being held and jiggled slightly.

Turn offs: Being naked and then made clean. Not pooping. Prop 8.

Tomorrow we go for an ultrasound of Van's hips, then we'll meet with Dr. Mehlman and his crew next week to go over the results. Hopefully my uterus was a more hospitable place to be this time around, but we are open to the fact that he might follow in his sister's footsteps - if only to save ourselves the blindsiding of last time.

I've gotten to be proficient at hip x-rays, so we'll see how I do trying to read the ultrasound screen over the shoulder of the radiology tech. Because I'm sure they love that.

See, there she is.

2009-05-14T19:17:00.002-05:00

I can only hope that his sense of smell isn't fully developed yet, because ye Gods, that dog needs a bath.

Yes. Alice is here too. But she's smart, and hiding.

2009-05-09T17:54:00.003-05:00

Clearly, he's scrumptious.

But make no mistake about it, this is still her show.

Everyone is asking how she's reacting, and I'm happy to report that she's interested, but not overly so. She wants to check him out, but isn't too bothered by the whole thing. When I told her that eventually he'd be big enough to play with, she did check to see that her toys were all present and accounted for, but then decided to offer him her "ipod" as a small gesture. [I'd be happy if he accepted, then promptly lost the damn thing, but that's a whole different post.]

My favorite moment was this morning when she watched me change a diaper.

"Hey! What 'DAT???" And so, we learned a new word.

Oh, and when you bring home your 2nd, please don't make the same mistake we did, and overcompensate with sugary treats, because I'm listening to the results of that play out upstairs right now, and I'm very glad that I chose to care for the one that poops every 15 minutes.

Perspective.

2009-05-09T08:18:00.002-05:00

Scarlett is enormous.

I probably shouldn't blog on percoset.

2009-05-07T12:50:00.002-05:00

So I'll keep it short and sweet.

Please welcome Van Joseph Frank, born 5/6/09. 7 lbs 2 oz, and 20 and 1/4 inches long.

He caught us a bit off guard, as we weren't expecting him for a couple of weeks, but all in all, yesterday was a very good day.

Good thing the interior is beige.

2009-05-01T11:39:00.003-05:00

I waited as long as I could, but eventually she had to shed in it.

Priorities.

2009-04-29T20:11:00.002-05:00

I went from this:

To this:

And it's OK. It really is. For the moment, I'm enchanted by new car smell, and the shiny paint, and the lack of pug hair. In the long run, I'm going to love automatic sliding doors and lift gates, and having enough space to put, as my sister once ruminated about her 3 rowed SUV "An entire row between me and them".

Of course, now that she has her sexy Jeep Wrangler, she won't cop to that, but trust me, it was said.

Although I worry about Amy's memory. Recently she tried to pin an old crime on me that had witnesses, for crying out loud. One, that I'd like to point out, that I never laughed at her directly for. I was nice enough to go into another room. Because I am a good and decent sister. That's just how I roll.

Blatently stolen from her cousin.

2009-04-17T15:59:00.004-05:00

Brian and Jess got some great pictures of cousin Maya peeking out of the tunnels at their playground, and darned if we didn't stumble upon some of the same shots this morning. Our apologies to the original artists.

Note to self : Two hours at the playground on a sunny spring day is a grand way to tire out a 2 year old.

More note: It's also a grand way to exhaust someone who is 8 months pregnant, and completely calcified from lack of exercise.

I've needed to get to the store all week, and I think we'll go out to dinner tonight, because our options at home are cereal, dust bunnies and Mandarin oranges. I've driven through the lot of our grocery store a couple of times, but the 'expectant mothers' spot has been taken each time. The thought of walking further than that is unbearable, not to mention the whole "have to convince the toddler that the red car cart is equal, if not superior to, the blue car cart."

Not that I'm complaining. Because that isn't like me AT ALL.

Happy Easter, you bunch of bunny lovers.

2009-04-12T12:39:00.002-05:00

Please don't ask Scarlett what the Easter Bunny brought her, because I, as the worst and most tired mother ever, did not actually get around to mailing in our letters to the Easter Bunny or filling out the requisition forms, or whatever it is one does to get the rabbit to show up and drop off a treat filled basket. Call CPS if you want, but I would hope that the bureaucrats would take pity on a very pregnant lady who was sick of all things pastel and sugar.

She's still pretty psyched about all the egg hunts we've been on this year, and as far as she is concerned the Big Bunny shows up someplace, hides a bunch of eggs [or in our case just scatters them about on the lawn and calls it a day] and then she gets to pick up as many as she can hold and put them in her basket. Trust me, she gets it.

Of course, I was planning on holding off on telling her that there was anything inside the eggs, but someone blew that for us when he rifled through them, looking for the good chocolate. We now understand not only what candy is, but that Mommy was a big fat liar when she told us that M&M's are solely for consumption on airplanes.

It couldn't last. I guess I knew that.

The stomach bug has an unforseen consequence.

2009-04-03T15:40:00.002-05:00

When you don't eat, you tend to lose weight. And when you are barely 25 pounds to begin with, you can't really stand to lose much, or you start suffering pants related issues.

I know, I know...

2009-03-31T07:41:00.003-05:00

I had the greatest of intentions to post lots of interesting garbage about how we FINALLY got the storm damage cleared from our yard, and how our house is now naked from the removal of all the dead plant life, and the ugly plant life, and how cute my kid is, and how she now says "Ta-da!" everytime she does something new...

But then we got sick.

We've been laying on mommy watching Dora and Diego and anything on PBS kids for a few days now [and let me tell you how sick of Dora and Diego and George and Sid mommy is. Sick. Ridiculously sick. Don't care if we never see Dora again sick. Oh, and did you know that 'Backpack' is supposed to be a girl? I do.] but we have finally turned the bend and today we are fever free, and wearing clothes.

It's a vast improvement.

Sorry for the quality of the photo - the only thing within reach was my phone, and I was trying to show my sister exactly what a sad poppet looks like.

I'm not Irish, but my kid is.

2009-03-17T18:59:00.002-05:00

Our two year old is turning into a person. Ask her father. He'll agree.

Please remind me in a few months when I'm sick to tears of it, but today she busted out with a "few more minute!" when it was time to leave school. It was so cute I tried to eat her.

Yesterday, she took a spill on her tricycle that resulted in a scraped chin and a few tears. We came back inside, cleaned her up, wiped her face and I asked if a Dora band aid would help. It would, so off we went to get one.

Only, when I tried to put it on, she informed me that it needed to go on the old head wound, not the fresh one on her chin. And by "inform", I mean "started screaming, while pointing at her forehead." I tried explaining that it was long healed, and therefore did not need a Dora band aid, but I was brutally rebuffed. So it went on her forehead. She looked in the mirror, ceased crying, and went back outside.

I hope she's that easy to please when she's 12.

March Madness

2009-03-11T19:32:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, Scarlett wanted it to be her birthday. We told her that while her birthday wasn't for a long time, Papa's was fast approaching.

So Monday, when I told her it was Papa's special day, the first thing out of her mouth was "BIRTHDAY CAKE!"

Thanks Dad, for letting every single small person at the party blow out your candles with you. Mom, next time you are out to eat, please swipe some matches so we don't almost burn down the house again trying to light candles on the stove.

Scarlett wakes up grumpy.

2009-03-03T19:42:00.001-05:00

That's a lame title for a post, but that's the name of the video on Youtube. We'll just pretend it's something wittier.

Anyway, this is to tide you all over until I get my camera back, which is currently residing at our friends house out in the suburbs. Apparently, even my camera prefers the open spaces and good school systems.

As for this sad poppet, she proves the old adage "Let sleeping toddlers wake up on their own, or you will pay with the whining that makes you want to rip out your eardrums, or at the very least, get it on camera so you can prove to others exactly how whiny she can be, since her grandparents clearly don't believe you."

Or something catchy like that.

I don't even dislike it, I now RESENT it.

2009-02-21T13:53:00.002-05:00

Winter. I'm not kidding, can you please cut us a break? Anne thinks people are sending death threats to Punxatawny Phil, and I'm apt to agree. Little bastard has a warm hole to sleep in until March, the rest of us are out here freezing our patooties off.

We are supposed to be getting more nasty weather tonight, so while it was still sort of not freezing, we got out for a walk. I would have posted more pictures of this, except that they are all of the back of her head as she looked at the sidewalk, the rocks, and the dirt. I would say "Scarlett, look at Mommy!" and she would reply, without lifting her head an inch "Cheeeeeeeeeese". Uh, almost.

One other trick we have picked up, which I'm finding pretty cute right now, but will probably make me insane in another month, is the new found ability to stall. I mean, really stall. The whole drink of water, one more book, walk as slowly as humanly possible, stall. Her original toddler enthusiasm for everything is starting to wane, and only becomes evident when it's truly deserving. Which apparently does not include nap time, bedtime, or getting our coats on.

Apparently, I was not on this vacation.

2009-02-11T09:58:00.002-05:00

Why yes, it was a cold snap the weekend we chose to go to Florida, thank you for asking! This, along with the virus that we all brought back [I mean, what's the point of living in a warm climate if they actually have cold and flu season too? Might as well stay in the snow.] could have put a damper on our mini-break, but we are of a sterner stuff than that, layered up and hit the beach.

Anyway, I am in no pictures, which is actually fine with me because Libby + pregnant + cold = NO PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

It's her job to see that everyone is warm.

2009-02-04T15:30:00.002-05:00

We believe in layers for everyone.

We also are having a winter like we haven't seen in a while. I can't remember the last time we have had snow on the ground for this long. I'm sure it's another harbinger of doom - like a reverse global warming effect, or maybe that little sh!t El Nino is back - but regardless, I've had it with this garbage.

So, the Spaghettios family is flying south for a few days. We are attempting to make up for the vacation we cancelled last spring, and although it's a bit shorter, it couldn't come at a more perfect time. Hopefully, while we are frolicking on the surf, the ice skating rink that surrounds our house will disappear.

Hope everyone we leave behind stays warm and dry - or at the very least, really enjoys winter sports.

The part of the week where I wasn't tearing out my hair.

2009-01-29T22:02:00.004-05:00

I'm pretty sure that every single blog coming out of our city this week has something to do with snow. And being snowed in. With kids. And wanting to spend 2 hours digging out the cars, because it means being outside the house. Not with the kids.

And yes. We had our share of that. We may even have had a tiny bit more whining about watching Dora and putting pajamas on the dog, and finding toys in our dreadfully outdated mail drop, and hoping against hope that the lump you've just found in the bottom of your shoe is just a goldfish cracker and nothing more insidious, but we also had something else.

This was the first time, the first honest to goodness time that Scarlett was able to go outside and play in the snow. Last year, the first real deep snow we got was the very day she was discharged from the hospital wearing all that fiberglass.

This was so much better than that.

Subliminal.

2009-01-24T21:37:00.002-05:00

Something about this seems familiar.

Jeans. White cotton turtleneck. Patagonia fleece vest.

My God, if she was wearing Birkenstock clogs and had her hair in a bun, I'd have dressed her exactly like her godmother, circa 1993. Now I just need to take her camping to the Gorge, and stop off at Dana's on the way home.

January 20, 2009

2009-01-24T21:28:00.001-05:00

When an Irresistible Force meets an Immovable Object.

2009-01-12T19:33:00.005-05:00

And I do mean irresistible.

Many years ago, I took the Red Cross Lifeguard training class, and I think I remember someone mentioning that head wounds bleed a lot, but often they aren't as serious at they might seem.

What they failed to teach me at 15 was that the best treatment for such ailments are cartoon band aids and animal crackers. And that for the rest of the day, the patient might pretend to fall down and hurt themselves just so they can get more [you guessed it] animal crackers and sponge bob band aids.

First day of "School".

2009-01-07T20:43:00.003-05:00

I can't even really say that with a straight face, considering she's two. But regardless, it's more or less true. She started a toddler program this week, and my God, why didn't we start this earlier?

She loves school, and there's a few things I'm pretty pleased with myself. One, they do lots of messy art projects there, which saves me the agony of pretending to be crafty. Another one is that someone else has to try to get her to wear a hat when she goes outside. Because that is like trying to put a pig costume on a dog. Which is really hard, and I don't recommend.

She wore that particular ensemble on her first day because not only do I love the symbolic nature of the apple for the teacher, but also because it belonged to her cousin, and I can readily picture a tiny Zoe running off to her own preschool wearing the same thing.

If there was any way to butch it up, I might try putting it on our son on his first day. Maybe if I pair it with jeans and Timberlands?

And we won, too. Or so I was told, because we left in the 3rd quarter.

2009-01-07T20:17:00.002-05:00

Kevin took a few days off over the holiday, which means I [and my impossibly big hair] got to be in a couple of pictures. We took Scarlett to a ball game on New Years Eve, where I expected to not see anyone we usually do, and where I was once again presented with irrefutable evidence that I am indeed, old, because everyone showed up. With their kids. And probably went home and watched the same countdown that we did, before dozing off at 11:30.

Besides, Kevin LOVES musical theatre.

2008-12-31T14:20:00.002-05:00

Today was our big ultrasound. Although we have a really funny picture from said scan, I told Kevin I wouldn't post it, because of the damage it could do in like 12 or 13 years. Although parents are morally obligated to embarrass their children, starting when they are in utero seems a bit excessive.

There's another great one of the baby's hand, but we aren't sure if he's showing us that he can Hang Ten, or if he's headed to the University of Texas. Or that he's already into Metallica.

Our tech assured us that she had a great track record when it came to getting the baby to give up the goods and after we measured all parts and checked the important bits, she let us know that the baby weighed in at 10 ounces.

Kevin asked if that was a center, or a point guard. I said I thought it meant musical theatre, and Kevin replied that he didn't care if our son was gay, as long as he wasn't a Dodger fan.

So! Scarlett gets a baby brother, and I get to go shopping for lots of little blue sleepers.

Now, will someone come to my house and put all of this crap away?

2008-12-31T14:02:00.003-05:00

Her are some Christmas pictures...just in time for New Years. I'm still struggling with the size of these photos. I swear this camera is going to end up costing us a new computer.

Scarlett may not understand Santa just quite yet, but damned if she doesn't understand new toys. That's a language spoken far and wide by all two year olds.

We hope everyone had a lovely holiday and are going to enjoy a happy and healthy new year. We are looking forward to everything 2009 is bringing, and hope the same for you and yours.

I'm pretty sure she thinks my face has been replaced with a giant camera.

2008-12-20T20:54:00.003-05:00

Still figuring out the whole flash/no flash thing. It seems we don't have enough natural light in our house. This might be a case of buying the shoes before the outfit. I might have to retrofit our house with skylights and bay windows for my pictures to achieve maximum density.

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

2008-12-20T19:56:00.003-05:00

Easy. Pick up a Canon Rebel XSi.

Bear with me. I'm still learning. Frankly, I'm finding it a little intimidating to take the dial off that safe little green rectangle - the one that means "Completely Automated, You Fool."

In the past 36 hours I've taken roughly 150 pictures and have loaded them all to my computer. And that's it. Because I just figured out that the photos take up so much memory that my sad little editor refuses to work with them. I can't even rotate.

All little problems aside, this is one hot camera. Unfortunately, my models have been a little difficult to work with, as one has a cold, and the other one has a problem with chasing tail. Her own. But you know models. The good ones are never easy to work with.

God wants me to have it.

2008-12-16T14:38:00.002-05:00

My old roommate Stacey and I used to say as we drove past Graeters on the square "If there is a parking spot out front, God wants us to have ice cream."

Scarlett dropped my camera on Saturday morning, bending the lens in the out position. It is not working. Which may or may not be because I tried to fix it. I'm trying to figure out if this means God wants me to go to Costco and pick up the digital SLR I really want.

Except that, and you'll have to trust me on this, a Canon Rebel XSi is slightly more expensive than a Turtle Sundae.

Fashion Forward.

2008-12-10T17:31:00.003-05:00

I don't believe in fighting the small battles. You want to wear your beach hat with your winter coat, even though when fastened in your car seat it gives you the Dumb Donald* effect, you go right ahead.

The weather is fluctuating between cold/rainy, to cold/a little snowy. I prefer the snowy. So does Scarlett, who points reverently and says softly "snoooooooooowwwww." Alice hates it all. I don't blame her - she's short. Must be tough to be down in all that weather. Near the ground.

We've introduced Scarlett to a few of our favorite Holiday Programs this season. The [original] Grinch was a big hit, although she was concerned for the dog. A Charlie Brown Christmas did not go over quite as well, and frankly, I don't blame her. All that existential crap about how Christmas has become so commercial. [Although who couldn't use a qualified therapist for a nickel in these tough economic times?]

*Points to anyone who knows who Dumb Donald is. I will freely admit that although I knew who I was thinking of, I had to resort to Wikipedia to get his name.

First I sighed. Then I sighed some more.

2008-12-02T14:13:00.003-05:00

Out of 4,000 pictures I snapped this weekend, none turned out particularly well. I'm just posting these so you can see that indeed, we did travel to Las Vegas, and we did get to see Cousin Maya, and that both Cousin Maya and Cousin Scarlett tried to make a break for the casino floor, and were then punished by being forced to ride a scary, scary bus that was driven by half a clown.

Oh, and it was just like being in Venice. Except for the Beefeater standing guard outside of a jewelry store. I'm not sure of the historical accuracy of that, but I'm going to let it go. Call it willing suspension of disbelief in Vegas. I think that more or less comes with the territory.

Thanks to everyone who made the trip to see us - it made for a glittery spectacle of a start to the holiday season. Nothing says "Thanksgiving" quite like slot machines and hookers. And all you can eat breakfast buffets. Not that I miss that feeling that only consuming an entire days worth of calories in one meal can give you. Mmmm, pastry course.

Anyone up for some Gelato?

I guess I should just call this one "Let Go!"

2008-12-01T18:09:00.001-05:00

Or, maybe "Back!" or even "Mom!"

And when I watch this video, I honestly wonder how anyone could have any dog than a pug. Ok, I also wonder how anyone else could possibly think their kid is as cute as mine.

I sense I am a teensy bit biased.

Thankful.

2008-11-25T20:40:00.002-05:00

The Frank's would like to wish everyone the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays. Enjoy your turkey!

I use aquaphor. And teeny tiny socks are REALLY cute.

2008-11-24T14:02:00.004-05:00

No no. We aren't potty training yet. I am in no rush for that, thankyouverymuch. We just started walking. But we do think the potty is sort of an interesting addition to the mix, and we particularly like lifting the lid and dropping toys inside. Much like we also like putting our sippy cups in the mail drop for dad to find later.

There are things I had forgotten about being PIP [Pregnant In Public] over the last couple of years, and had to laugh as it all came rushing back recently as I foolishly stumbled into a conversation about labor. If you are like me, and a giant chicken about confrontation, here's a bit of advice you might find handy.

Don't talk about labor options, pain management, birth plans, feeding, sleep training, episiotomies, diapering, BPA free bottles, lead testing, circumcision, name choices, or water births with anyone other than the father. The only safe topic is diaper creme. And how cute teeny tiny socks are.

Well, at the very least, don't about them to me. If I have to have another conversation like that one at any time over the next 6 months, I'll crawl under the nearest table, and won't come out until the anesthesiologist has been called.

Poor Alice.

2008-11-16T18:47:00.002-05:00

So, I'm sure you've all noticed that my posts have fallen off considerably in the preceding weeks. And the only thing I have to say is that it's really hard to type with your head in the toilet.

Baby Frank 2.0. Arriving stores May '09.

I've been collecting stories from my friends about being pregnant while parenting a toddler. I use "parenting" loosely. Not sure if passing out on the beanbag in the playroom while Alice and Scarlett use me as their own personal climbing wall is going to win me any mommy awards.

Anyway, hope everyone finds this news as exciting as we do. I can't wait to add real pictures of #2, although I think we all know exactly how many pictures get taken of the second, as unbearably cute as they may actually be. This ultrasound picture might be the only one in it's baby book.

Walking, more.

2008-11-03T15:20:00.002-05:00

In the past week, Scarlett has taken off with walking. It makes my life both much easier, and much harder. But by harder, I mean "the best harder ever."

Although we did have a laugh at music class when I ruefully mentioned to her teacher, Miss Amanda, "Remember when she paid attention? Last week, when she couldn't walk?"

Uncooperative Goblins.

2008-11-01T06:48:00.005-05:00

I had visions of these adorable pictures of my big bad wolf, and my one little pig, and maybe even snapping a picture cute enough for a holiday card, but my subjects were a little less than cooperative. Particularly the one in pink, who made it clear from the outset that she was participating under protest, and that wearing such a monstrosity was clearly against some sort of union rule.

That is, if Pugs were able to unionize, which I sort of doubt, since they would probably meet at the union hall, run in circles, then take a nap. You really have to be more organized than that.

The one in grey quickly figured out the whole "trick-or-treat" thing, and was just intent on people handing her candy. I'm not kidding - I'm a little worried every time we go to someone's door, she's going to get upset if they don't give her a snack sized bag of m&m's.

And I helped...

2008-10-30T12:19:00.003-05:00

Forgive the quality of these pictures, I was busy in the kitchen when Kevin decided it was time to indoctrinate his daughter to the ways of the jack-o-lantern. I tried to run in and snap photos, but the lighting was bad, and the participants didn't particularly want me in their faces. So this is the only documentation we have.

Scarlett is recovering from a sinus infection [poor kid may have inherited my puny sinus cavities, an affliction I would wish on no one] and I haven't had the heart to take away her "punkin!", even though after 4 days, it's starting to look a bit weary. It may have to be relegated to the front steps, although it's inevitable that the marauding local squirrels will make short work of our short pumpkin.

A real conversation.

2008-10-23T21:13:00.003-05:00

K: I'd like to get to Costco.

L: OK. We can try to go this weekend. [pause] What do you need?

K: Clothes

L: You know, I think the ultimate goal is to get you to stop buying clothes at Costco altogether.

K: Why don't you just cut out my heart?

Two.

2008-10-19T19:07:00.003-05:00

OK, so in retrospect, the crown was not a great idea.

But the cake was.

Scarlett turned two yesterday, and we spent the afternoon at our friends' farm out in the country. We did not tell her that all those people weren't there specifically for her, but she didn't seem to mind much. She got to eat a cupcake, play in a sandbox, and watch her mother be inept at silk screening t-shirts. It was a pretty cool birthday. Thanks so much to Tom and Wendy for opening their home to everyone in the state. We look forward to a day when we can stay past sundown.

Today she got her very own birthday cake, but again, mistakes were made. She probably shouldn't have tagged along to the bakery, because all day we heard "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAKE!!" Couldn't really grasp why we were just letting this perfectly good cake sit on the counter. What are we, stupid? CAKE. Then the whole crown thing. Clearly, I am not so smart.

To be serious for just one moment [I know. It's uncomfortable for me too. Bear with me.] I have to reflect a little on this past year. Scarlett has never ceased to amaze me with the strength and fortitude she has shown in the face of adversity. She has been put through the ringer, and just keeps going, and growing, and learning, and making us laugh. She has to play catch up every day, and will for a while longer, but she has astounded us with the gleeful way she attacks each morning. I can only imagine what she'll surprise us with in the coming year.

Proof.

2008-10-19T10:06:00.002-05:00

She did actually get cake on her birthday. And Miss Anna did a fine job of singing "Happy Birthday To You", as well.

Something seems very familiar...

2008-10-17T15:33:00.002-05:00

Can you guess what it is?

http://spaghettioswithslicedus.blogspot.com/2007/10/well-we-may-not-be-creative-but-we-know.html

Same farm. Same sweater.

Maybe next year she can wear it as a shrug.

Boy, are my arms tired.

2008-10-17T12:37:00.002-05:00

I'd love to tell you that we've spent the last week touring in Tuscany, eating our weight in pasta, and drinking enough wine to sedate an Italian pony, but alas, the week was spent looking for the charger [Found! In the fruit bowl! Why was it in the fruit bowl?] and doing very mundane chores.

But today we went to the country and took a hay ride, looked at chickens, and ate Skyline. It may not be cheese from Parma, but it does come with a free bowl of oyster crackers.

Missing:

2008-10-06T12:27:00.003-05:00

One camera battery pack charger thingy. Last seen on my kitchen table and now gone, gone, gone. My camera is dead and I have no way of resurrecting it until I find that charger. It's making me nuts. It was such a little thing, I'm terrified that it may have been accidentally tossed in the garbage during a kitchen table purge session. Ugh. Will keep you posted.

___________________________________________

Scarlett is still working on walking. She staggers a little further every day - today I think I counted 8 steps in a row. She will be evaluated by the physical therapist tomorrow, and I hope we'll be making great strides [yes, pun intended] soon.

After I recovered from the shock of what was happening, I managed to keep filming.

2008-09-29T18:46:00.001-05:00

Somewhere just shy of 5pm.

2008-09-29T18:16:00.001-05:00

Scarlett started standing up today, so I went and got the camera. Apparently, that brought out her inner show-off, and she took it to the next level.

It's a conspiracy.

2008-09-24T12:37:00.004-05:00

I know it's actually not, but the fact that the City insists on tearing up the street in front of our house during nap time seems a little too much of a coincidence. The signs read "from 7-5", so you'd think the work would start bright and early. No, that's OK, we'll actually start 30 minutes after your daughter goes to sleep in the afternoon.

I know, that has nothing to do with pictures of pigs and goats, but it is what is going on at Chez Spaghettio today, so it's on my mind. I'm also dreading taking a shower, despite the clean and soft lululemon yoga pants awaiting me, because there's always the chance that running plumbing on the wall next to her head will also disturb her REM cycles, and you know, we just can't have that today.

But the goats! And the pig! Saturday we went on an outing to a real working farm, and got to do all sorts of neat things like gathering eggs and milking goats. My cynical side thought "Yeah, nice. We bring our kids to the farm, pay them, and then do all their work. There's a scam I'd like a piece of." And I'm here to report that I was totally and completely wrong. Because if you think a bunch of pre-schoolers are going to be good at gathering eggs and milking goats, then you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Dude, they are soft. Most of them wouldn't even touch the goat, much less the part that milk comes out of. And half of them are useless when it comes to hitching up a team of horses to a plow.

We really do spoil them. I think Scarlett would gain much character if she had a little more farm experience. To start, I think we'll have her chop up the remainder of the tree for firewood.

Hippy Chick.

2008-09-20T13:24:00.002-05:00

Oh, yeah, forgot to mention:

The word from the Dr's office continues to be good. Scarlett's hip is growing properly and the x-rays are showing us pretty angles that make everyone very happy. Scarlett will also be starting physical therapy - I'm particularly keen on this development because there is so much she wants to do, and I'm not totally sure how to help her learn.

Next checkup in 3 months.

Maybe she should have more friends her own species.

2008-09-20T12:51:00.002-05:00

I'm so tired of looking at that stupid tree, and pictures of the stupid tree, that I'm completely ignoring the stupid tree that is laying down half on it's side in our front yard.

So, forget it. Instead, here are funny pictures of my kid, who thinks she's a dog. On the other hand, perhaps that's not so funny. Perhaps that's something we should look into.

Blog? What blog?

2008-09-18T10:45:00.002-05:00

Hello?

Anyone still listening?

Well, yes, we've been sort of missing lately, and for the 2 or 3 of you that aren't local, allow me to explain. This past Sunday, we got hit by a hurricane. And when I think about it, the signs aren't good, because this year we've already had an earthquake and locusts. I dearly hope someones not trying to tell us something. Because I've got the feeling that this city is not listening.

Anyway, most of the city [and by most, I mean 90%] was without power. There are still traffic lights that are out, and some people seem to forget that you should still, I don't know, STOP [I'm not talking to anyone in particular, Mr. Yellow Convertible Mustang] at them.

We were lucky. We lost our big front tree, and a large branch in the back, but nothing fell on the house and our roof is intact. My parents still don't have power, and it's starting to make my mom a little crazy. She wandered into my house the other day muttering about Oprah, Wheel of Fortune and curling irons. It's all very sad.

I have pictures of our sad tree and yard that I'll post soon, but frankly, even with power, things are busy here. This afternoon Scarlett has another x-ray and hip check, the first one out of the brace. Then there are meetings and work and buying a generator so my mom can do her hair. Because that is way more important than the steaks and salmon in the freezer.

Spot The Parenting Mistake.

2008-09-07T18:52:00.004-05:00

Is it:

A] That chin strap is clearly a choking hazard.

B] The ladybug stamp is not made from an American Pediatrics Association approved ink.

C] A two year old with a bottle? Are you trying to ruin her for LIFE? TAKE THAT OUT OF HER HANDS RIGHT NOW YOU HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, MOTHER.

or D] Plastics kill.

Ha! It was a trick question! There are NO parenting mistakes in this picture*, because this child has PERFECT PARENTS.

*unless you count the fact that to the right of the photographer, the TV is tuned to Spongebob Squarepants.

Girls Poker Night: or Why Mina should run for Vice President.

2008-09-07T18:35:00.005-05:00

How did we go from tasteful appetizers,

And thoughtful card play,

To this?

When I told Kevin that dancing broke out at the end of poker night, he sighed and said "Yeah, that pretty much happens when we play cards, too."

[Can I brag that I made that baked brie, and that it was so scrumptious that if you have us over for dinner anytime in the next 10 years, I will probably be bringing it just to hear you all oooh and aaah? Because I'm no dummy. I know when something works, and is actually so easy that the whole thing took like 3o minutes to assemble and bake?]

An Open Letter to the Programming Genius at PBS.

2008-09-05T13:56:00.003-05:00

Dear Genius,

May I call you G? Thanks. G, I’m a fan of PBS, I really am. I’ve been one for years. Grew up on the classics – Sesame Street, Zoom, The Electric Company – remember those?

G, we have got to talk about Sid the Science Kid. My daughter was sick this week, and sometimes when we don’t feel so good, nothing helps more than curling up with a blanket and a little TV. And what did we find?

Sid the Science Kid.

I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings, because I’m sure you had focus groups that raved and all, but this show makes me want to remove my eyeballs and eardrums, and let my kid watch more Sponge Bob Squarepants.

First, the animation is super creepy. It reminds me of that weird investment commercial that is half drawn, and half live action. You know that one?

The characters all seem a little off, too. Like “Just saw Dave Matthews at Buckeye Lake” off, if you know what I mean. They are a little too into “observing”. With the exception of that kid Gerald who they should show getting his daily dose of Ritalin from “Teacher Susie”.

I’m not sure what school district they are in, but a 4:1 teacher student ratio screams either “Home Schooling”, “Commune”, or “Boca Raton Retirement Community”. Where are the other kids? Held back? Not into free form dance or observing?

And the day my daughter starts singing to me from the back seat about how I am cool, I will eat Play Doh. And the day I dance my way up to her school, she’ll probably want to die of embarrassment.

But finally, the music. Wow. It is REALLY bad. It is like your younger sister repeating everything you say until you hold her head in the toilet. It is the dog barking when you are trying to sleep in. It is even worse than that, it is an ear worm that lasts all day. Right now, I would give anything to have a Yo Gabba Gabba song rattling around in my head.

So G, in short, I have to say that here at our house, we would just love it if you would bring back Clifford the Big Red Dog. Because although that is the most depressing theme song in the history of children’s programming, we really miss the big red fella. I don’t think we realized how good we had it.

Sincerely,

The Mom That Wanted To Know Nothing About Children’s Television Programming, And Now Knows Too Much.

She might as well be in a playgroup with Typhoid Mary, the Legionnaires, and a handful of Lepers.

2008-09-01T19:28:00.006-05:00

But honestly, I welcome average, run of the mill childhood illnesses. because every other time we go to the doctor, we end up meeting with specialists, who are lovely people, but whose children will definitely be able to afford a private education.

This time a simple runny nose went south, and while my sad poppet suffers from a sore throat that makes her so whiny that mommy would like to retire to the corner with earplugs and a bottle of Jack Daniels, she also goes about proving that as a toddler, she's just so normal. Take THAT, hip dysplasia.

This past holiday weekend, prior to the consumption, we pulled out the target baby pool, slapped a swim diaper on, and tossed her in. I should have been doing this all summer.

What is Ed wearing on his head?

2008-08-26T12:41:00.002-05:00

I think it's the beach Frisbee, but I can't be sure. Perhaps it's a kicky chapeau.

We arrived at the beach, and Scarlett pointed to the ocean and announced "Pool!" Then she looked around for Michael Phelps.

PreSchool Musical

2008-08-24T19:53:00.001-05:00

There are a lot of pictures to sort through from this weekend, and some of them even have children in them. The rest are of a bunch of hot women, who don't look remotely like they are 40.

Maybe we were just overly tired, but we laughed until we cried about this one. My favorite part is about the 8 second mark, when Charlie does the "call back".

I wanna be like her when I grow up.

2008-08-21T20:47:00.002-05:00

Scarlett and I are off to Connecticut tomorrow. Someone is turning 40 this weekend, and we thought we'd hand deliver our birthday present.

How on earth did I NOT see this coming?

2008-08-20T20:07:00.004-05:00

I mean, it was racing down the road at me, full speed. There it is - a toddler. A table. New legs. Duh.

I really don't know how she got in the drawer. On top, yeah, I get that. She's a monkey. But in? No. I'm at a bit of a loss on that one.

Wait till she figures out she can put Alice in there.

2008-08-20T19:54:00.003-05:00

Through Scarlett's whole ordeal this year, one thing has never wavered. Her love of the train table at the local children's bookstore. When she was in the cast, I was able to prop her on my knee and she could play, more or less on the same level as the other kids.

In the brace, she was able to pull herself to standing, and gained a bit more independence. Now that the brace is gone, she's working on getting stronger and learning how to balance. In the long run, it was going to be cheaper to get our own so I didn't feel obliged to pay rent on the one in the store. It's also got these big deep drawers that hold all of her toys, and make mommy very happy.

Sunday night I spent much time with a little wrench named Allen, but the end result was worth it. Even after I realized that I'd put the drawer bottoms on wrong. Twice.

What passes for a reptile in these parts.

2008-08-20T19:40:00.002-05:00

Charlie, if Scarlett had been with you when you saw that gator, this is what she would have done.

First time at the zoo with no brace. Opens up a whole new world of photo ops.

I've been hiding. From bugs.

2008-08-20T19:32:00.002-05:00

Kevin ‘accidentally’ discovered a nest of Yellow Jackets this past weekend, and we’ve spent the time since parking in the front of the house, sneaking past them and employing such timeless gags as “Hey! Yellow Jackets! Look over THERE!” and praying that they won’t attack.

My husband dedicated himself to the humane removal of the nest, by first attempting to drown them, and later, to suffocate them. He’s very kind. And cheap. But mostly kind.

After the 2ND failed attempt at humanely dispatching the bastards, I mean God’s creatures, we called in backup.

He arrived in his shiny, and one can only assume, bug free van, and promptly had a stroke brought on by laughter at what passes for extermination around here. We also apparently closed off one of the holes with our flooding, so he had to sort of blindly stab at the ground with the chemical grenade to kill them. Along with our creeping whatchacalit that the nest was under.

So that was the beginning of our week. Trapped like rats. By bugs. It's like a vermin festival.

There's been other fun goings on, so stay tuned.

Look Ma! No Brace!

2008-08-12T16:43:00.002-05:00

hthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPDvQklLUOQ

I tried to "share" this video from youtube no less than 4 times. I give up. You can click the link - it's roughly the same amount of work for you as if I had actually made it function correctly.

I hate computers.

Edited: Today is Saturday. Youtube finally posted the video link. [All four times, of course.] Sorry, suckers - too little, too late.

Just picture it in a pink tutu. With spurs.

2008-08-12T13:08:00.003-05:00

Doesn't it look like she's doing little plie's and releve's?

Either that, or she's still slightly cowgirl'd, and the idea of standing on straight legs will just take a little time. One thing I failed to realize was that the brace was holding up her pants. I either need to learn to hem, or that kid has to figure out how to hitch those suckers up.

Go ahead. Look it up on Wikipedia. I'll wait.

2008-08-12T12:09:00.003-05:00

I jokingly told Dr. Mehlman yesterday that I thought we suffered from a family wide case of Stockholm Syndrome, and that hip dysplasia was our captor. We are scared of the brace, but perhaps we are more scared to be without the brace.

I think I've realized I wasn't joking.

Yesterday the orthopaedic clinic was packed to the gills. The hospital* recently changed computer systems, which means that until 4 gazillion employees know the new software, all hell can and will regularly break loose. Our part of that hell was spending close to 4 hours in a holding pattern, with tiny 10 minute breaks for an x-ray and a consult with the doctor.

The staff was horrified for us, and I find these circumstances easy to forgive, because, well, we have Stockholm Syndrome. I mean, a normal person would have probably left, right? But we sat there, and drew letter after letter, plied with pretzels, played with toys from the supposed clean toy bin, and waited.

The end result is this. She's out of the brace during the day.

It's time to learn how to walk.

*Meaning every single brick and mortar structure related to a major metropolitan hospital campus, up to and including buildings located 40 odd miles away. So, you know, easy peasy. Half a dozen IT guys should be fine, right?

Greyscale is the New Black.

2008-08-07T14:39:00.003-05:00

No, I don't have any idea what I'm doing. I found a button on my computer that magically turned these snapshots into something I wasn't responsible for.

The top photo is the only one I think perhaps I shouldn't mess with. Despite the vicious red overtones, thanks to a sunny day and a colorful piece of playground equipment, I think the black and white copy loses something.

The color version:

See? I think the eyes say something here. Something like "If you don't put down the camera, I'm going to launch myself head first down the slide, and since you are standing over there, and I'm over here...well, you get the drift."

"Oh, and give me a pretzel." Yes. The eyes definitely say that, too.

To the nice lady at Biggs:

2008-08-04T12:12:00.002-05:00

Thanks. Scarlett now thinks that every time she rolls into the grocery store, someone will hand her an oreo.

A crime wave.

2008-08-01T12:06:00.004-05:00

Found: One felt sheep stuck to the Velcro on my daughter's butt. I believe she was attempting to smuggle them out of the children's museum one by one, until she had an entire set of farm animals at her disposal. Busted. Unfortunately for me, busted at home, after the crime had occurred. I will have to smuggle it back in next week.

It is slightly genius on her part. Not that I would ever consider using this to my advantage. For example, I would never let her crawl through my favorite stores, just to see what sticks.

Because it's summer, and there's nothing on TV.

2008-08-01T11:44:00.002-05:00

See this playroom?

This playroom right here?

Last night at 9pm it was spotless. Puzzle pieces in place. Trains with train stuff, farm animals in the barn, soft toys and miscellaneous tucked into the toy basket. It was peaceful and organized. A joy to behold.

I took the first picture roughly 11 hours later. The second, I have zoomed in and located who I believe to be the perp. I'm actually convinced there may have been an accomplice, because 1 toddler + 30 minutes cannot possibly = giant tornado having torn through my former dining room.

There's all sorts of offenders around here. Someone accidentally spilled some coffee on the sofa this morning, and in an effort to not be apprehended, I - I mean they - took the slip cover off the couch cushion and cleaned it. Only when I - again, they - flipped the cushion over, they were dismayed to find that somehow a little dog with blond hair had managed to shed on the underside. I do not understand how that works, but I do understand that my crime is probably one of neglect. In that I have neglected to rotate the cushions. [It is a high compliment to the manufacturer of our couch that no true ass-wells have formed.] I will remedy this situation, as soon as the spot treated cushion has dried.

None of you will ever willingly sit on my sofa again, will you?

Seriously. I'm taking care of it. It will be properly vacuumed and rotated by the time you come over. But I can't promise a small dog won't curl up in your lap and lick your wrist anyway. So if you don't like fur, you should probably tell me that you are washing your hair.

What do you think out of country tuition would run, anyhow?

2008-07-26T20:00:00.003-05:00

A little something to aspire to. [Thanks to Scarlett T. for the t-shirt! She loves it, because it has letters.]

Don't laugh. This fish was worth 20 bucks.

2008-07-25T17:46:00.003-05:00

First fish caught won the pot. You can imagine how insufferable Kevin has been all week. Big fish this, giant trout that. Enough already.

I have named him Steve. We are having him stuffed and mounted and hanging him over the mantle.

Do I really need to type it all out?

2008-07-21T19:14:00.004-05:00

Blah blah blah pasta 12.99 blah blah blah purple ice cream 3.25 blah blah blah having fun tormenting an obviously childless waiter and worrying about cleaning up later...priceless.

The house seems empty without 100 pounds of labrador.

2008-07-21T18:46:00.003-05:00

Amy, I promise I will stop calling him "Bucket Head". But it's hard. His head is so buckety.

Scarlett and Alice are sad tonight, because their friend had to leave. My neighbors, a little weary of being bluff charged by all that yellow fur, may not be. He means no harm, he's just so full of lab love that it just can't be contained in a small city yard.

And I'll let Scarlett and Alice in on a little secret. I miss my friend too. Far be it from me to point out when something is a good idea, but Hocking County doesn't seem like a bad one.

We tried. Honestly. But we could NOT get them all to look at the camera at the same time.

2008-07-21T18:40:00.002-05:00

This was the best we could do. The obvious hold out is my kid, but I like to think she realized the lighting wasn't right. A girl has to know her angles.

And I totally forgot the "Took the kids to the Amusement Park" pictures.

2008-07-21T18:16:00.003-05:00

If I were the type, this is where I would do my "I was so right, and you were so wrong" dance. But I'm not. So I won't.

If pressed, however, I might point out that she loved every second, despite what some cynics might believe.

We all had fun, although when my sister tells you to "duck, and you won't get wet" please don't believe her. And get yourself tested for Coxsackie.