Monday, June 30, 2008

Today at 4 O'clock, no one brought me a Grey Goose and Soda and frozen grapes on a stick. And I was sad.

Because you see, for 4 days, that very thing happened. It was our very own Walt Disney World. Except we called it "South Beach". And "The Awesome Delano Hotel". Particularly that last one.

Just look at this pool.

Don't my sister look relaxed? And not at all drunk.

At night the chaise lounges were pushed together to create beds. And all you needed to do to sit there was pay way too much money for a bottle of wine. We decided that our money was better spent at True Religon and Scoop NY. But it sure looked purty.

Here's me. Relaxed. Not drunk.

The rooms are all white. Which makes them beautiful, but sort of a pain to photograph. The only color in the room is a green apple that they leave you every day. And that I ate, every day.

I loved the sign over the gate. Just in case you were wondering what that big blue thing was over there, it's the sea.

And I'm pretty sure Amy was about to punch me in the nose if I said one more time "Anyone for a really big game of chess?"

As to why there are no pictures of the beach itself? Believe it or not, there was a raw sewage spill in Miami this past weekend. Yes. Raw. To be honest, Amy and I consider ourselves Pool People anyway, but if there was a chance of our heading out to the beach, that pretty much killed it.

I cannot say enough good things about this hotel. It was stunningly beautiful, the employees must have been brainwashed by Scientologists, because they were too nice to be believed, and even though it was hot, it was Florida hot. Which makes it sorta fun. Unless you believe your sister that something isn't really that far, and you find yourself drenched in sweat and unable to try anything on in Barney's Co-op, because you are too embarrassed that you might leak on something. So you stand there and pretend to look at purses until you've soaked in enough A/C to go to another store.

So now I'm home, tanned and rested. I think everyone is glad to see me, even though my extremely capable husband had everything under control. Although he could probably use a nap.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I guess it was just one of those days.

Sometimes, the urge to nap head down, is overwhelming. everyone.

Maybe you guys aren't so bad, after all.

Ever feel like you are being followed?

The mystery of the other giraffes has been solved. Apparently, yes, for years we had 5 giraffes. Nature took it's course with most of them, but the last giraffe is living out its final days on a nature preserve in Northeast Ohio. Yes. I said Northeast Ohio. No, I didn't think that was the obvious place for a giraffe to retire, but the nice man in the khaki shirt said it was so.

I'm just glad that at no time in the conversation was the word "Glue" used.

I'm also thrilled that they don't seem so scared anymore - because honestly, they are my new favorite animal at the zoo. Aren't they pretty?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Learning Curve.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. World's worst blogger, checking in. The past two weeks have been full of craziness, with cars dying repeatedly, and the whole "Father's Day and Kevin's Birthday falling within a week of each other AGAIN" with movie dates and concerts and favorite burger joints and homemade pancakes [no man is as loved as he, for one long week in June - and might I remind you that at least I have the common decency to allow 7 weeks to pass between Mother's Day and my birthday, providing ample recovery...but that's neither here nor there.] and toddlers having their very first temper tantrum [You people have been holding out on me. Those are loud. Were you going to fill me in?] Anyway, we've been busy.

My observation of the day is thus: When it comes to Scarlett, I am always learning. And do you know what I learned today? Yogurt pretzels melt.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

They'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. Except that they won't. Because you scare them.

Unless you either a] live under a rock or b] don't have kids, you know that over at the city zoo, the giraffes are back! It would actually be more appropriate to say that the giraffes are new! Because I found something out today - these are not the same giraffes that have been at our zoo for like 30 years.

No. I don't know where they went. I was afraid to ask. I was slightly afraid the answer would have something to do with glue, and I just couldn't see myself trying to explain that one.

Anyway, despite the fact that Kim and I had planned on taking Emma and Scarlett to the zoo today, because the weather was going to be perfect, and we were both free to go early, and we were so excited we told everyone about the giraffes...I forgot. I was overcome with the stunning, humidity free weather this morning, and decided that a nice long walk was called for.

Eventually I realized what a doof I was, and we did make it. And the new giraffes are so sweet. So tall. And so scared. All the zoo workers tee's proclaim that they will be eating out of the palm of your hand as you stand on the newly constructed viewing platform that places you at giant purple tongue level. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the giraffes that. They were huddled in the trees off in the distance, waiting for us all to just. go. away.

That's OK. The only reason Scarlett puts up with the animals is the train, and even though it's the exact same train that drove me around the zoo 30 years ago [and by the looks of it, the same bridge, wiring, and railroad ties] she can't get enough. I'm trying to calculate the odds that we'll be riding the thing when that thing finally conks out, leaving us stranded above the flamingos.

Monday, June 9, 2008

In honor of her father's birthday, Scarlett learns a new dance move.

It's a shame that so much of my brain functions on a 1995 level.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie. Hope it was a good day, and a very good dinner.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Peter Travers, I am not.

Sex And The City is out. And we saw it. And I loved it. And I want to go see it again. But my pictures of the evening didn't turn out nearly as pretty as Wendy's, so despite my proclamations that I would not be out-blogged, I clearly was.

But let me assure you that it was a great movie, a great dinner, and we even had fancy drinks. Which means that it was also great company. Not one person at the table had to drink out of a sippy cup, or be reminded not to throw food on the floor. And you never know with Mikki, but she was on her best behavior.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Bringing down the hammer.

Let's face it. For weeks, this kid has gotten away with murder. Nary a whimper went untended; a needy cry unmet. But you do what you have to do to survive. You try to stay afloat and make it to morning, like those unlucky suckers that got left behind on the Great Barrier Reef. And if it means poking a few great whites in the eye, then you've got a few one eyed sharks swimming around.

Now it's time for baby boot camp. This is the first step. Because she fits back in a high chair, it's time to get her off the floor, and out from in front of Elmo. It hasn't been much of an argument, because she loves sitting up straight, and eating in this position is a dream. And I'm not sure she knows Elmo is missing.

Dresses me like a dork, Mommy does.

The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak.

A little more detail on her brace. Her lower legs are totally free, but the upper legs are held in a split position by the front and back metal bars, and the leg cuffs, which are velcro'd into place. [Spellcheck refuses to accept that spelling of 'velcro'd', but I like it. Take that, spellcheck bitches.]

She's trying to pull herself up - and she'll get there, but I think for now the muscles are a little weak. I'm very glad that she has the memory of standing, and wants to be there again. I'm not sure if she'll walk unassisted in the brace, but all signs point to yes.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I can't find the camera cord. When it turns up, I have many more pictures of Scarlett's legs. Also, better pictures of the brace.

Anyway, she's doing great. She seems to just accept the brace [thank God] and hasn't really messed with it, although the damn thing is already filthy. Why on earth would you put a toddler in anything white?