Monday, September 29, 2008

After I recovered from the shock of what was happening, I managed to keep filming.

Somewhere just shy of 5pm.

Scarlett started standing up today, so I went and got the camera. Apparently, that brought out her inner show-off, and she took it to the next level.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's a conspiracy.

I know it's actually not, but the fact that the City insists on tearing up the street in front of our house during nap time seems a little too much of a coincidence. The signs read "from 7-5", so you'd think the work would start bright and early. No, that's OK, we'll actually start 30 minutes after your daughter goes to sleep in the afternoon.

I know, that has nothing to do with pictures of pigs and goats, but it is what is going on at Chez Spaghettio today, so it's on my mind. I'm also dreading taking a shower, despite the clean and soft lululemon yoga pants awaiting me, because there's always the chance that running plumbing on the wall next to her head will also disturb her REM cycles, and you know, we just can't have that today.

But the goats! And the pig! Saturday we went on an outing to a real working farm, and got to do all sorts of neat things like gathering eggs and milking goats. My cynical side thought "Yeah, nice. We bring our kids to the farm, pay them, and then do all their work. There's a scam I'd like a piece of." And I'm here to report that I was totally and completely wrong. Because if you think a bunch of pre-schoolers are going to be good at gathering eggs and milking goats, then you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Dude, they are soft. Most of them wouldn't even touch the goat, much less the part that milk comes out of. And half of them are useless when it comes to hitching up a team of horses to a plow.

We really do spoil them. I think Scarlett would gain much character if she had a little more farm experience. To start, I think we'll have her chop up the remainder of the tree for firewood.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hippy Chick.

Oh, yeah, forgot to mention:

The word from the Dr's office continues to be good. Scarlett's hip is growing properly and the x-rays are showing us pretty angles that make everyone very happy. Scarlett will also be starting physical therapy - I'm particularly keen on this development because there is so much she wants to do, and I'm not totally sure how to help her learn.

Next checkup in 3 months.

Maybe she should have more friends her own species.

I'm so tired of looking at that stupid tree, and pictures of the stupid tree, that I'm completely ignoring the stupid tree that is laying down half on it's side in our front yard.

So, forget it. Instead, here are funny pictures of my kid, who thinks she's a dog. On the other hand, perhaps that's not so funny. Perhaps that's something we should look into.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Blog? What blog?


Anyone still listening?

Well, yes, we've been sort of missing lately, and for the 2 or 3 of you that aren't local, allow me to explain. This past Sunday, we got hit by a hurricane. And when I think about it, the signs aren't good, because this year we've already had an earthquake and locusts. I dearly hope someones not trying to tell us something. Because I've got the feeling that this city is not listening.

Anyway, most of the city [and by most, I mean 90%] was without power. There are still traffic lights that are out, and some people seem to forget that you should still, I don't know, STOP [I'm not talking to anyone in particular, Mr. Yellow Convertible Mustang] at them.

We were lucky. We lost our big front tree, and a large branch in the back, but nothing fell on the house and our roof is intact. My parents still don't have power, and it's starting to make my mom a little crazy. She wandered into my house the other day muttering about Oprah, Wheel of Fortune and curling irons. It's all very sad.

I have pictures of our sad tree and yard that I'll post soon, but frankly, even with power, things are busy here. This afternoon Scarlett has another x-ray and hip check, the first one out of the brace. Then there are meetings and work and buying a generator so my mom can do her hair. Because that is way more important than the steaks and salmon in the freezer.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Spot The Parenting Mistake.

Is it:

A] That chin strap is clearly a choking hazard.

B] The ladybug stamp is not made from an American Pediatrics Association approved ink.

C] A two year old with a bottle? Are you trying to ruin her for LIFE? TAKE THAT OUT OF HER HANDS RIGHT NOW YOU HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, MOTHER.

or D] Plastics kill.

Ha! It was a trick question! There are NO parenting mistakes in this picture*, because this child has PERFECT PARENTS.

*unless you count the fact that to the right of the photographer, the TV is tuned to Spongebob Squarepants.

Girls Poker Night: or Why Mina should run for Vice President.

How did we go from tasteful appetizers,

And thoughtful card play,

To this?

When I told Kevin that dancing broke out at the end of poker night, he sighed and said "Yeah, that pretty much happens when we play cards, too."

[Can I brag that I made that baked brie, and that it was so scrumptious that if you have us over for dinner anytime in the next 10 years, I will probably be bringing it just to hear you all oooh and aaah? Because I'm no dummy. I know when something works, and is actually so easy that the whole thing took like 3o minutes to assemble and bake?]

Friday, September 5, 2008

An Open Letter to the Programming Genius at PBS.

Dear Genius,

May I call you G? Thanks. G, I’m a fan of PBS, I really am. I’ve been one for years. Grew up on the classics – Sesame Street, Zoom, The Electric Company – remember those?

G, we have got to talk about Sid the Science Kid. My daughter was sick this week, and sometimes when we don’t feel so good, nothing helps more than curling up with a blanket and a little TV. And what did we find?

Sid the Science Kid.

I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings, because I’m sure you had focus groups that raved and all, but this show makes me want to remove my eyeballs and eardrums, and let my kid watch more Sponge Bob Squarepants.

First, the animation is super creepy. It reminds me of that weird investment commercial that is half drawn, and half live action. You know that one?

The characters all seem a little off, too. Like “Just saw Dave Matthews at Buckeye Lake” off, if you know what I mean. They are a little too into “observing”. With the exception of that kid Gerald who they should show getting his daily dose of Ritalin from “Teacher Susie”.

I’m not sure what school district they are in, but a 4:1 teacher student ratio screams either “Home Schooling”, “Commune”, or “Boca Raton Retirement Community”. Where are the other kids? Held back? Not into free form dance or observing?

And the day my daughter starts singing to me from the back seat about how I am cool, I will eat Play Doh. And the day I dance my way up to her school, she’ll probably want to die of embarrassment.

But finally, the music. Wow. It is REALLY bad. It is like your younger sister repeating everything you say until you hold her head in the toilet. It is the dog barking when you are trying to sleep in. It is even worse than that, it is an ear worm that lasts all day. Right now, I would give anything to have a Yo Gabba Gabba song rattling around in my head.

So G, in short, I have to say that here at our house, we would just love it if you would bring back Clifford the Big Red Dog. Because although that is the most depressing theme song in the history of children’s programming, we really miss the big red fella. I don’t think we realized how good we had it.


The Mom That Wanted To Know Nothing About Children’s Television Programming, And Now Knows Too Much.

Monday, September 1, 2008

She might as well be in a playgroup with Typhoid Mary, the Legionnaires, and a handful of Lepers.

But honestly, I welcome average, run of the mill childhood illnesses. because every other time we go to the doctor, we end up meeting with specialists, who are lovely people, but whose children will definitely be able to afford a private education.

This time a simple runny nose went south, and while my sad poppet suffers from a sore throat that makes her so whiny that mommy would like to retire to the corner with earplugs and a bottle of Jack Daniels, she also goes about proving that as a toddler, she's just so normal. Take THAT, hip dysplasia.

This past holiday weekend, prior to the consumption, we pulled out the target baby pool, slapped a swim diaper on, and tossed her in. I should have been doing this all summer.