Friday, November 30, 2007

On the other hand, I don't know what will happen if someone sneezes.

I say "no" a lot.

"No, Baby."

"No, Scarlett."

"That's not a toy. No baby."

It is nice sometimes to just say "yes." Yes, you may destroy that half empty box of kleenex. Yes, thanks to Costco, and mommy's blatant disregard for the environment, we have plenty more in the basement. Go to town, kid.


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Things your mother should teach you.

Oatmeal is not a finger food.

But nice try, Miss Independence.

Also, I realize when you are in lock down you are lonely, but it is not OK to french kiss the dog.

Monday, November 26, 2007

And I don't even LIKE pumpkin pie.

We are all finally awake around here. The leftovers are gone, and calorie counts are dropping.

Friday was of course, for shopping, and we escaped mostly unscathed. Mostly. Target lacked the foresight to keep back an extra Guitar Hero just for me. They also sold out of the Wii, and the two types of televisions that were stashed back with Liz Lange's Maternity gear. Because when I was pregnant, there was nothing like reasonably priced panel front jeans and a flat panel TV.

Saturday was football, and more eating. And putting things in the yard that make your neighbors wonder who went to Tennessee, and that scare the bejezus out of your dog.

Sunday was a day of rest. And today, Monday, was for looking at each other and saying "Are you kidding?"

So now we look forward to the next round of holiday cheer. It will be here this weekend.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Turkey Aftermath.

It's funny when dinner for like 30 is considered a "small Thanksgiving".

I hope everyone ate a lot of their very favorite things. When I've awoken from my turkey coma, I'll post a little more.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I like youtube.

Kevin and I might be a little late to the game on this one, but we've been laughing about it for an hour.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Don't judge me.

The true test will be to see what the monkeys do. Cheeky monkeys.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

David was in from California, so we indoctrinated him to lunch at Bronte, and a round of train play at Joseph Beth Kids. He should recover, although I think he may not be anxious to try it again anytime soon.

On the other hand, I think we are dangerously close to being regulars.

I'm also dead impressed that when Lisa started counting, her son listened. And obeyed. Who has that power? I need lessons.

Monday, November 19, 2007

They look remarkably similar.

Here we are, all full the hopes and dreams of the new football season.
And here we are, all full of beer.
Cincinnati fans are remarkably resilient. The conversation at Sunday's game was all about how much better our seats will be next year.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Ohio State: 14, Michigan: Not Enough, Suckers.

We went over to watch THE Ohio State University game today. At the only house in the neighborhood with the Tennessee mascot "Smokey" standing 8 foot tall in the front yard.

But team allegiances aside, we were dismayed to see Anne there. You see, she is about 74 weeks pregnant, and every time we all make plans, Anne tags her reply with "If I'm still gestating."

Friday, November 16, 2007

Alice Frank, Mensa Member.

A few people have commented on Alice's video - not only here on the blog, but verbally, aloud, to me directly. They seem to think that Alice is some sort of super genius.

Let me remind you that this "super genius" turned up with a sticky head day after day last holiday season, and lo, it confused us, verily, until we realized she was drinking out of the Christmas tree stand, and getting sap on the top of her head.

So no. She will not be rescuing Timmy from the well anytime soon. She can't even save Scarlett from the pack-n-play.

That miracle of modern film making was created thanks to one thing. My dog's love of Smart Pop. And who doesn't love it? One point, people.

Wave a piece over her head, and she follows it. See how that worked?

Anyway, she is a very good dog, and even though she's not a hit on Youtube or Yahoo, she does add great things to our house. And a few smelly things. And pug hair. Let's not forget the pug hair.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Object on counter is smaller than it appears. And has more parts.

I have a love hate relationship with the Nuby Grip-n-Sip.

Actually, I have a hate hate relationship. Ever tried to clean the 400 parts that come with one of these? Grosser still was realizing after they've run through the dishwasher, that you incorrectly disassembled one, and it's still crustily, nastily, vomitously covered in day old milk germs.


But she can use this headache in a cup all on her own. So I guess I'm stuck dissecting tiny little plastic straws until she learns how to tilt her head.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Salon.

I can't say I'm too sure about this.

Alls well that ends well. As long as your best friend likes your new haircut, than everything is just fine.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Seriously, this is why we didn't teach her sign language. I'm pretty sure I know what one finger means.

If anyone has any ideas how to get a one year old to subject herself to the indignity of the nasal aspirator without the dirty looks and the wails of despair, please fill me in.

Apparently, I'm trying to suck out her brain and remove her adenoids without the benefit of a general anesthetic. But eating and enjoying a good pre-nap binky are almost impossible with impacted sinus cavities.

Oh, and to all of the well meaning people who stopped me yesterday at the grocery store to pointedly ask about the bruise on my daughter's cheek? Well, what can I say? She's still working on her nunchucks skills. But her shuriken is spot on.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I couldn't eat another bite.

Because of a stubborn cold, we aren't big into eating. This nifty little stop and go disk we picked up at the crazy meat emporium the other night will surely come in handy.

Only the house specialty isn't so much steak on a sword. More like pear on a dishwasher safe tray.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Christmas came early to the Island of Sodor.

Baby's first Thomas. Crack for toddlers. Legal crack. Worse than benedryl. Two year olds everywhere are stoned on DVDs and story books about this cheeky little talking train. I've decided to just give in. Maybe if she "uses" in a controlled environment, she won't feel the need to get into the heavy stuff. Wonder Pets. Higglytown Heroes. And God forbid, Dora the Explorer.

A few minutes after this picture was taken, she pulled herself up to standing on the Thomas box. Which is why Kevin is upstairs right now dropping the crib to it's lowest level.

The next step is crate training.

And the Gauchos WORE gauchos!

Theme restaurants are fun. Except when you end up with a raging meat hangover.

We went to a Brazilian Steakhouse last night with our friends, Jamie and Shiloh. Men with tridents wound through the tables, offering up meaty treats. Shiloh went into food coma shortly after the garlic steak. The boys and I hung on through half a dozen more meats, until dessert, at which time Jamie passed out in his strawberry cheesecake.

There was some debate on the hierarchy of meat carriers - did the sausage guys have to put their time in before being promoted to steak? Was the chicken guy the equivalent to the cotton candy guy at the ballpark?

Somewhere, Dr. Atkins is smiling.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Hark, The Herald Starbucks Cup.

Few tangible items make me as happy as showing up to Starbucks, and finding that the holiday cups have arrived.
I think I squealed.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

But she probably looks like Brian.

Welcome to Maya Isabella!

Yesterday afternoon, my beautiful and talented sister-in-law, Jessica, gave birth to Scarlett's newest cousin.

We will see little Maya at Christmas, and I can't wait to get my hands on my newest niece. And Scarlett assures me she has much to share.

All our love to Brian, Jessica, and little Maya. Welcome to the family!
[Jess sent me this picture from her camera phone. Don't you just want to squoosh her?? Look at those cheeks!!]

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

My apologies, because this will only be funny to my mom and dad.

Honestly, I was just shocked that there was more than one of them.

Dad, this was hanging on the wall in the church basement where I went to a playgroup the other day. All I could think was that someones wife was just happy it was out of her house. Either that, or this church was really non-denominational.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Democratically speaking...

...if you have to take time out of your day to go vote, then I hope it's someplace beautiful.

I used to vote in the utility room at a school, next to piles of the lye they used to mark the ball fields. This is a vast improvement.

Monday, November 5, 2007


I'm fairly certain I have fixed the problem. My spacing is off, but my pictures are back.

Having been through all this, I think it's safe to say I'm not cut out for IT work.

Took what I thought was a million pictures at Anne's baby shower yesterday, but somehow, I only got pictures of infant bathtubs. Huh. Strange that. Or perhaps it was because she got 4 at one shower.

That will be one clean baby.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Do you see what I see?

I won't sing, I promise, but give a girl a little help.

Last night I got all excited when I figured out how to organize my photos a little more efficiently on photobucket. Unfortunately, I broke all kinds of links, and now I'm not sure what you all can see.

On both of my computers, I can see all my posts. But over at Kate's today, I tried to log on to show off my stunner of a kid, and none of my photos were there.

So, can you comment please? Let me know what you can and can't see. I know the first two posts are fine, because I suspected this last night and re-posted my squirrel friend.


Saturday, November 3, 2007

I am fully prepared to be made fun of.

It was PugFair 2007.

There were pugs in costumes, pugs in strollers, pugs in houses, pugs who needed homes, and pugs that didn't look so much like pugs, but more like pigs.

There were lovely people raising money, and kids who thought all these little dogs were just sort of neat. There was a singing veterinarian who checked out eyes and ears and noses, all between sets. There were officials. They told us who had the best costume and the curliest tail.

There were pug t-shirts, pug sweatshirts, pug license plates and pug kisses. A little peanut butter helped, but most pugs gave kisses willingly. If not a little exuberantly.

It was such a success that Alice didn't even really try to get in my lap on the way home. She was too pugged.

Friday, November 2, 2007

What, you used a knife?

This year we hired an artist to carve our pumpkins. Well, not so much hired, as 'enticed into our yard to decimate our half-assed Halloween display'.

Alice tried to catch him today, to, I don't know, congratulate him for a job well done. After all, he does leave little orange morels of fun for a pug to roll in not 30 minutes after she's been picked up from the groomers.

I have to got to remember to throw that thing away.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

And I'd like it to be prepared by a left handed barista who is deaf in one ear.

I overheard the last half of what had to be the most insane order at Starbucks this morning.

"...11 pumps and 135 degrees, please."

How does one get to the point that one knows that 11 pumps is the way to go? Had he really tried 10 and found it too weak, and 12 was just plain overwhelming? And to know the correct temperature to the degree?

Seriously, I want no more flack for my triple grande non-fat cappuccino.

Now that Halloween is past, Kevin and I can concentrate on something that is really scary. Open enrollment for medical insurance. Ooooooooooooo.