Friday, September 5, 2008

An Open Letter to the Programming Genius at PBS.

Dear Genius,

May I call you G? Thanks. G, I’m a fan of PBS, I really am. I’ve been one for years. Grew up on the classics – Sesame Street, Zoom, The Electric Company – remember those?

G, we have got to talk about Sid the Science Kid. My daughter was sick this week, and sometimes when we don’t feel so good, nothing helps more than curling up with a blanket and a little TV. And what did we find?

Sid the Science Kid.

I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings, because I’m sure you had focus groups that raved and all, but this show makes me want to remove my eyeballs and eardrums, and let my kid watch more Sponge Bob Squarepants.

First, the animation is super creepy. It reminds me of that weird investment commercial that is half drawn, and half live action. You know that one?

The characters all seem a little off, too. Like “Just saw Dave Matthews at Buckeye Lake” off, if you know what I mean. They are a little too into “observing”. With the exception of that kid Gerald who they should show getting his daily dose of Ritalin from “Teacher Susie”.

I’m not sure what school district they are in, but a 4:1 teacher student ratio screams either “Home Schooling”, “Commune”, or “Boca Raton Retirement Community”. Where are the other kids? Held back? Not into free form dance or observing?

And the day my daughter starts singing to me from the back seat about how I am cool, I will eat Play Doh. And the day I dance my way up to her school, she’ll probably want to die of embarrassment.

But finally, the music. Wow. It is REALLY bad. It is like your younger sister repeating everything you say until you hold her head in the toilet. It is the dog barking when you are trying to sleep in. It is even worse than that, it is an ear worm that lasts all day. Right now, I would give anything to have a Yo Gabba Gabba song rattling around in my head.

So G, in short, I have to say that here at our house, we would just love it if you would bring back Clifford the Big Red Dog. Because although that is the most depressing theme song in the history of children’s programming, we really miss the big red fella. I don’t think we realized how good we had it.

Sincerely,

The Mom That Wanted To Know Nothing About Children’s Television Programming, And Now Knows Too Much.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good thing that show wasn't meant for thirtysomethings :)

wendy said...

Don't even get me started on PBS's latest programming choices. I am still mourning The Removal of Mr. Rogers From the Schedule, because clearly gentle, non-animated programming is no longer relevant. Sigh.

me said...

i love the clifford them song. i still sing it all the time!
going to check out sid online right now.

Anonymous said...

I just randomly came across your posting and I thought you were spot on. I get the creeps when I see stuff like that. Im afraid studio execs love it because of cost efficiencies, but they dont realize they sacrifice quality and even 'likability'.

the thought that the 4-1 ratio was homeschooling or commune.. hilarious!