Apologies to anyone who cares.

Computer is still being worked on. It didn't seem to be so bad, then it got very bad, and now it's worse.

Hopefully we will either have good news Monday, or we will be buying a new computer.

I would tell you all about the pictures I've been taking, except that would be a lie. I haven't taken any. I finally picked up my daughter's crud and have been laying around in a feverish sweat hacking.

You are so jealous.

Stay tuned to this space.

I finally get a camera that makes my blog a prettier place to visit, and our laptop dies. The computer I do all my blogging on.

Until we can figure out why it keeps going *kablooey*, and giving us nasty little messages, and not allowing me to do a system restore, I'm offline.

"When did this start happening, Sunday? I'll do a System Restore to Friday."

*bluescreen*

[Wow. Computer trouble makes me overuse punctuation.]

Well, obviously I got online to do this, but honestly, I do enjoy spending the evenings with my husband, not upstairs on the office computer. It's not like I don't like you, I do, it's just that I like him more.

Also, I would have to crawl behind my desk to locate an available USB port for my camera, and I think we all know how I feel about that sort of exertion.

Remember when Dinner Club was all about the wine?

Dinner Club occasionally becomes Breakfast Club. These are some of our favorite parties. There are donuts and coffee, and it fits perfectly for the two nap kids, and the one nap kids.

And I believe someone still brought some wine.

Oktoberfest Zinzinnati

Scarlett's first Oktoberfest. And there was a costume.

Marcy sent her the dress and it was perfect. Well, perfect if the temperature at 7pm wasn't 91 degrees. She wore it long enough for a few pictures, and a few more "isn't she cute?".

I win.

She likes goetta.

Thomas, the crack engine.

OK, so I needed a minute. And anything On Demand is as good as gold as I'm concerned - although usually I'm surfing for E! on demand, or Discovery Health! on demand. Or Wine! on demand.

But guess what I found today? Thomas on Demand.

Scarlett actually doesn't seem to have my love of the big black box in the corner of the room. She is occasionally distracted by Sesame Street or the Backyardigans [but please God, not the Wonder Pets. Anything but the friggin' Wonder Pets.], but she doesn't watch for long.

Thomas did catch her attention. And I think I'm OK with that. Although I find it sad that her knowledge of George Carlin will not be for the Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television, or even for Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - but instead for narrating a children's show that causes perfectly normal preschoolers to lose their mind.

Charlie, Scarlett's cousin, is a virtual connoisseur of all things Thomas. When the first of the toy recalls regarding this brand was announced, my sister had to run around the house collecting all the new red trains that Charlie had accumulated, mumbling under her breath the whole time "Thank God it wasn't Percy."

Recently on a trip to our favorite independent toy store with his Nana, upon picking out his booty, he walked right up to the counter and asked "Does this have TOXIC PAINT?" Kids. Can't live with 'em. Can't trade up.

He also got into a spot of trouble in Kindergarten recently, because he decided that his name was Percy, that he could only be called Percy, and that he would write "Percy" on his papers. I believe all Thomas related activity was suspended briefly.

Wait, where was I going with this?

Oh yes. Scarlett. TV. Thomas the Tank Engine. Well, you get the picture.

Just as long as it's not the Wonder Pets.

Assigned Seating

Mmmm...Grilled cheese.

Mmm...Grilled cheese.

It's an absolute wonder that Alice can maintain her svelte figure. The baby lets me know she's done with dinner by allowing tiny bits of food to rain down from her fingers, directly into the waiting mouth of her closest com padre.

The other day I bought a different roast turkey than normal. It wasn't great. I admit that. But it came off the tray so fast it was landing on on Alice's back as she gobbled up what was hitting the floor. Subtlety is not my daughter's greatest attribute.

Because I believe in keeping up on current events.

Today is National "Talk Like A Pirate Day."

I am so in it's not even funny. I went to Starrrrgghhhbucks and ordered my coffee like a pirate. The barista, Stephanie, is also one of our babysitters, so it was less embarrassing than it sounds.

Sort of.

Anyway, as you go through today, please try to remember all the unfortunate souls who were forced to walk the plank, suffered from scurvy, or lost an eye to an cantankerous parrot.

Arrrgh.

11 Months

I've been so busy thinking about Scarlett's 1st birthday, that I sort of forgot that she wasn't quite 11 months old yet. But she is today. I love taking pictures of her fresh out of bed, still in her pjs. She's so excited that we remembered her! Hey! You came back for me! Let's go play!

It's so easy to look forward to the next milestone, and forget what's going on this very minute. This morning she was sitting on her mat playing, and I was standing behind her. She hadn't noticed me yet, and was concentrating on reaching her toy train. Folded in half at the waist, the train was still just out of reach. She was grunting and stretching - almost popped up onto her knees a few times, and I'm standing behind her silently pumping my fist in the air. Go, Baby, go!

At that point, however, she spied me, and turned from her task to give me a big grin and clap for herself. Or me, I'm not sure who it was meant for. But her concentration was broken, and it was time for her nap anyway.

Each day brings another 400 reasons to scoop her up and kiss her cheeks. Another chance to comfort her when she tries something new and lands on her face. Another day to play with her square chunky feet, and watch her watch everything.

She's not quite a year yet. She's 11 months.

Hey! That's not a pug!

It was our first trip to the Zoo where Scarlett actually gave a damn. She was very interested in the orangutan, and the manatee. She finally seemed to understand what we were there for, other than spending two seventy five on my least favorite bottled water.

Clare was in charge of the map, and took her job very seriously. As the elder stateswoman, she took the lead and declared it simian day.

Now, I don't really have any good animal pictures, because I'm anything but a wildlife photographer. And no, I don't think Alice counts. I also felt that some pictures I could have taken would have been inappropriate for our younger viewers. Which leads me to ask: How should one react when standing amongst school age children, and two gorillas begin some rather lusty behavior?

I find it much easier when your charge is short, and in a stroller. You can just roll her behind the faux bamboo viewing wall.

She has excellent taste.

Within a few minutes of being in the house, Sophie found my shoes. I think I actually wore that same outfit this summer.

Look. I've tried explaining this before.

" I don't like sweet potato. I didn't like it last night, and I don't like it today for lunch. So stop shoving it my mouth and making yummy noises. You just look dumb."

What does she know? She doesn't even know how big she is.

I think they stay up nights plotting against me.

For months I've been saying to my daughter, in the most annoying, cloying, begging way possible, "How big is Scarlett? SO BIG!"

Nothing.

5 minutes with her father, and this is what happens when you yell "Touchdown!"

Speaking of Who Dey...

The view from the cheap seats. It's really not too bad. We have a sherpa.



Hang on, Sloopy. Hang on. Those are some mad 'i' dotting skillz.

Who Dey!

Hey look! Her eyes are blue! Not red! I already love this camera.

Anyway, are you ready for some football?

You too, can blog about nothing.

I'm on a bit of a hiatus. I'm waiting for something very important to arrive in the mail.

Monday night I sat down to post all the pictures I'd taken up east. It wasn't as time consuming as I thought, because only 1 out of 5 was usable. As much as I love our little camera for ease of use and the remarkably clear video it shoots, it does have some short comings. No Red Eye Reduction. The shutter speed is slow - bad news if you are a baby or a dog.

I'm taking so many pictures these days a new camera was easy to justify. Going off the recommendation of a few friends, I saved up my shekels [Yiddish for "Target Gift Cards"] and waited for a sale, and bought myself the Canon SD1000.

According to UPS, my package was shipped yesterday, from the "US", and will be arriving by the 17th. Forgive me for thinking it will be here sooner. Hoping for today.

Can't wait to learn to use it. I'm hoping it's easy, because I am the girl who got a "C" in Photography.

[By the way, I was pleased to find that spellcheck did indeed have a correct spelling for "shekels", because I didn't.]

Dear Alice,

I know.

It's not fair. It's not. But whatever baby wants, baby gets. So when we have been happily involved in 'parallel play' [meaning you with your squeaky bird, baby with her zoo train, and me with my People Magazine] and suddenly the baby wants the squeaky bird, and delicately reaches out and plucks it from your mouth...

Well, that is what we describe as S.O.L.

But I applaud you for laying quietly, if a little mournfully, watching the baby play with YOUR toy. YOUR bird. You had it first, didn't you? It's a shame.

But no, do not turn your big pug eyes to me. It is the rule around here. I'm sorry you find yourself so suddenly at the bottom of the ladder, but I'm afraid that's the way it must be. The rankings are as follows:

1] Mommy and Daddy. [we will generously put these two names on the same line, although I think it's clear that if we do a chip count, Mommy has enough fun chips to go all in, and essentially wipe out Daddy.]
2] Baby
3] Any future siblings to Baby [although trust me readers, they remain largely theoretical at this point]
4] Pug.

But honestly, I am very proud of how you reacted to this milestone. Baby took the toy directly from the jaws of the beast, and received little in the way of reproach.

You, on the other hand, got a Snausage. I think you'll find it to be a fair trade.

Love,

The Mommy

And the pathetic part is, I still haven't gotten Amy a birthday present.

Thanks to Amy and Ed for a wonderful weekend. You let us come in, disrupt your life, your sleep, and even your cars. We had a wonderful time, and I can't thank you enough.

See you soon!

Monday.

Amy requested the munchkins be deported this morning. Cousin's breakfast at the diner followed. Scarlett has now been introduced to Tony the Tiger. Now she'll be able to recognize him at Costco.

Sunday.

Amy and Ed rented this inflatable slide for the party. Had it been a few degrees warmer, [or maybe if I'd had a tish more wine] I think more adults would have given this a shot.

Kevin has picked out his Halloween costume. Thomas the Tank Lawyer.

You'll note that cornhole has been introduced to Westport society. I'm not sure they get it. At one point, there was a bag stuck up in a tree branch.

Zoe action shot. That side of the slide was notorious for "air". The other side was pure speed.

Amy and Ed threw a great party. To Kevin's great joy, there were 3 different types of meat. To mine, it's a toss up between the Balducci's dessert tray, or the s'mores. But after watching the free for all around the fire pit, Kevin commented "I'm literally surprised no one lost an eye. No, seriously."

Saturday.

What incredibly thoughtful and generous gift did the bride receive from her father?



Cookies.



We actually had all been complaining that Barry hadn't traveled cross country with a huge batch of his chocolate chip love. He got us.

Friday.

I have been bathing like a fool. Look at this prime real estate. And the toys. I don't know what to stick in my mouth first.

Thursday.

I am the great snake slayer. Me, and my ducky pj's.



Express elevator to Heaven. I was not nervy enough to take pictures of the actual salon. Oh, and I was busy rolling around in the Chloe boots.

Scarlett and Scarlett.

Amy and I lunched outdoors at Rockefeller center while downtown. Other than the whole bird thing, it was very nice.

Ally had her 10th birthday party at the pool. There was a lot of squealing and shoving. And that was just the moms.

Wednesday.

Blatent Product Placement. We love Cheerios, Mr. General Mills.



They were pretty excited to see their cousin again.